About Working Together
As a queer man in long-term recovery, I don’t just believe change is possible — I’ve lived it.
I know what it’s like to struggle with shame, addiction, anxiety, loneliness, low self-worth, and the exhausting feeling of hiding parts of yourself in order to feel accepted, loved, or safe.
I also know that healing rarely comes from simply trying harder, “fixing” ourselves, or finding the perfect coping strategy. More often, meaningful change happens through relationship — through experiencing what it’s like to be seen honestly, understood more deeply, and accepted without judgement.
The relationship between therapist and client is central to how I work.
Many of us carry wounds that happened in relationship — criticism, rejection, abandonment, emotional neglect, conditional love, bullying, shaming, or feeling unseen. Over time, these experiences can shape how we relate not only to other people, but to ourselves. We may begin hiding, people-pleasing, masking, isolating, using substances or compulsive behaviours to cope, or believing there’s something fundamentally “wrong” with us.
Therapy can become a space where those patterns begin to emerge safely within the therapeutic relationship itself — not so they can be judged, but so they can be better understood.
As trust develops between us, we may begin noticing together how you protect yourself, where you struggle to feel safe, how shame shows up, what intimacy feels like for you, or what happens when you feel vulnerable, seen, close, rejected, dependent, or emotionally exposed.
I don’t believe therapy should feel cold, clinical, or emotionally distant.
While the focus will always remain on you and your process, I’m also not a therapist who hides completely behind silence or neutrality. Where appropriate and therapeutically helpful, I may use some gentle self-disclosure or bring more of my humanity into the room. In my experience, healing often happens through authentic human connection, not simply analysis.
As an autistic therapist, I also understand what it can feel like to move through the world feeling different, misunderstood, overstimulated, or as though you’re somehow getting “being human” wrong. Many of the people I work with have spent years masking parts of themselves in order to survive, fit in, or avoid rejection.
I work with men and LGBTQ+ clients struggling with addiction, codependency, shame, self-esteem, anxiety, intimacy, identity, and relationships. Many clients come to therapy feeling emotionally exhausted from constantly performing, coping, or trying to hold themselves together alone.
Over time, drugs, alcohol, hook-ups, porn, work, perfectionism, caretaking, emotional withdrawal, or people-pleasing can become ways of managing painful feelings and unmet needs. Often these coping mechanisms once helped us survive, even when they later begin causing suffering.
Part of therapy is developing enough safety to begin understanding those patterns with greater honesty and compassion.
I know you’re probably not going to walk into the first session ready to reveal every hidden part of yourself — and that’s completely okay. Trust takes time.
But gradually, therapy can become a place where you no longer feel you have to perform, hide, or carry everything alone. A place where shame begins to loosen, where self-understanding deepens, and where a more authentic version of yourself can begin to emerge.
I’m not the kind of therapist who simply sits silently and nods. I’ll ask thoughtful questions, help us explore patterns together, and gently challenge blind spots or defences where it feels helpful. At times, we may also explore your past and childhood experiences to better understand the wounds and survival strategies still shaping your present life.
But therapy isn’t only about understanding pain.
It’s also about building a different relationship with yourself:
one grounded in self-worth rather than shame
connection rather than isolation
authenticity rather than masking
boundaries rather than people-pleasing
self-compassion rather than self-attack
Over time, this work can help quieten the constant mental noise, reduce compulsive behaviours, improve relationships, strengthen emotional resilience, and help you feel more at home within yourself.
My hope is not that you become “perfect”, but that you begin to feel more fully human, more connected, and more able to live as your authentic self.
